THE DIARIES: “Sex is the New Black”
by Hailey, 15 (Sudbury, Ontario Canada)
Is it just me or have teenage relationships gotten way more serious than they used to be? It seems like everyday I hear a new story from a friend who knows someone who knows someone who’s pregnant, or lost their virginity at a party. I’m starting to feel like an un-hip mom who’s out of the loop. When did we get so sexual? When did we start wanting to have sex? Why didn’t I get the memo?! All I hear now is “Oh, did you hear so-and-so had sex?!? Yah!” or “I heard she might be pregnant, her and her boyfriend have sex like everyday.”
I feel like ripping my brains out when I hear stuff like this. It’s crazy to think not too long ago just KISSING a boy was the talk of the hallways, now it’s completely different. But my question is, are these teenagers aware of the after effects of just one night of bliss? Are they aware that the pregnancy rate in teenagers have skyrocketed in the past years? And also the risk has risen for contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Teenagers need to know the facts, they need to know the stories, they need to think before undoing their pants. So I ask my girlfriends, ‘why do you have sex?’ They sometimes look down, sometimes mumble the answer and sometimes don’t say anything at all. When they do say something they tell me something I hear a lot from my friends… ‘because I love him.’ It’s an answer that I do get a lot, yet never really understand. Yes, okay I understand you might love him, but really you’re only 15 or 16 is love really going to mean the same thing it does now and when you’re married with kids? My guess is it probably won’t be the same. When you’re with a guy you might love, ask yourself these questions:
- Can I see myself with you in the future?
- If we fight will we get through it?
- Will you leave if the going gets tough?
- Do I really know who you are?
Sometimes the answers are no, that doesn’t mean break up with him, we aren’t dating at this age to really find our husbands, but if you don’t love him why give him something so precious and once in a lifetime gift such as your virginity? Having sex shouldn’t be a trend or the ‘cool’ thing to do, it should be what’s in your heart, it should be the realization of love when you’re older. Having sex should show eternal love for someone, not just showing someone you like them.
Another issue when it comes to having sex at our age, is the dangers of getting pregnant or contracting a disease that will live with you, and might even kill you. People will say ‘but, I used a condom.’ Condoms don’t always keep you safe, many things can go wrong with condoms, tearing and ripping are problems that can cause an unplanned little one crawling around 9 months later, or a prevention if you ever want to have kids in the future.
Nothing anyone says will stop all teens from having sex, but I hope these words stick in their brain and maybe make them stop to think, that’s all I want to accomplish at this point, these words to cross your mind even for a few short seconds.
